Interview Antics Aficionado Gifts

'Candor is a plus.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"What's all this?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'He will observe your text now...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

Jungle Games