Interview Antics Aficionado T-Shirts

'Candor is a plus.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'Follow that cab!'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"What's all this?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'He will observe your text now...'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

'You don't want the job, do you?'

Jungle Games