Interview Ace Pillows

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

Poor finish to a long-winded explanation.

"When did you say you left school?"

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'I'm happy to report that the position has been narrowed down to you and 958 other people.'

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

"...ten years at college must count for something."

'It's a shame, he had superb references...It was just unfortunate he failed so badly on his interpretation of these squiggly lines.'

'Your previous employer hinted that you have a problem with chronic career self-sabotage. What's that all about?' 'Why don't you hire me, dummy, and find out for yourself?'

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

"I see you're good at meeting deadlines."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

'I'm afraid we can't hire you because of your salary requirements. You require one.'

'We're quite impressed with your enthusiasm.' 'YES!!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'It says in your resume that you're a 'take charge' type?'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Our employment ad said goal oriented, not goalie.

'Now that's an impressive CV.'

"We are looking for some new blood, but with the same experience as the old blood."

"You can't take time off for stress. . . We haven't even given you the job yet!"

"We're hiring, but not you!"

'It's not an audition, it's a job interview and please don't tell me to 'break a leg'.'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

'I see you graduated sumo cum laude.'

"I see from your resume that you lost your last job due to habitual lateness."

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'Put me in any position. I know them all.'