Intervention Planner Gifts

'This isn't a surprise party. It's an intervention. Quit throwing surprise parties!'

"We only got six days of funding."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Waiting for retirement.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

"So tell me again about the disastrous effects the Biden infrastructure plan will have on the deficit that you're suddenly so concerned about. . ."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

Father Time Management