Activity Planner Gifts

Better things to do with your time than trail down the chiller aisle...Learn salsa!

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Babies.

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

Planned service changes

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

Babies

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

Face painting children with no facial features.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

Clock in, Clock out.

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"Here is a folder with your itinerary, visas and pre-paid coupons for your four-star hotel nests along the way: happy migration!"

'That was a good idea of yours to make ourselves scarce, the price of honey is going through the roof. I am going to cash in and get myself a nice little hive in Ibiza.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"Check the itinerary again Sharon, this doesn't look like Margate to me!!"

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."