Treatment Planner Gifts

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"We only got six days of funding."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Like death by salad.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."