Treatment Planner Gifts

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"We only got six days of funding."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Like death by salad.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."