Interstellar Intellectual T-Shirts

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

Boptimism

Paul Ree

Miss America IQ Pageant

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

How Glaciations Begin

Assertiveness

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

Lost and Profound.

Jacques Lacan

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Is it just me, or do these sculptural forms of light and shadow make you think about the ephemeral nature of life, the spirituality of the moment eclipsing our futile quest for cheese?"

Toni Morrison

George Santayana

"You're terrific, Katia. You think like 'The New York Review of Books' and look like 'Vogue.'"

Philosophers On Strike

Soren Kierkegaard

Thomas Carlyle

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'