Interrogation Specialist Gifts

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"Job interview!"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"What is it about the firm's global presence that most appealed to you?"

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"I was building up my pecs."

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."