
'With any young couple seeking marriage guidance I always begin with the concept of cognitive dissonance.'
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'With any young couple seeking marriage guidance I always begin with the concept of cognitive dissonance.'
"Any questions?"
"Go ahead. Press one for more options."
"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."
Woman on the phone.
"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"
"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."
"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."
'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'
'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'
'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'
By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.
'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'
'We'll skip that rubbish.'
Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.
'You're a smooth talker, Alphonse, but around here that's not enough.'
"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"
The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.
"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"
"I care that you care that I care about you caring... but I'm not sure if your caring is enough caring to make up for what I'm not caring enough about."
"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."
Communication
'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'
'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'
'I'm dropping you a lion.'
'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'
It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...
"A handshake and a high five - I can't see this merger working."
"Should I announce my retirement before or after...."
"Do that thing where you leave."
'Nurse, I said boil the instruments, not roast them.'
'I'll make sure the boss hears your concerns.'
"Anything wrong, sweetie pie? You've been ignoring the tip jar lately."
'We've been going together for six months now, Rupert -- When are you going to open up?'
I think I have too many apps.
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