Internet User Gifts

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Likes: $2.

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Is this the new input device?'

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Trick or Tweet

Man doing a search on a computer

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"I have an app for that."

'I love to see you all so busy!'