Internet User Pillows

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Likes: $2.

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Is this the new input device?'

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Man doing a search on a computer

Trick or Tweet

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"I have an app for that."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."