Internet Usage Gifts

Will dick around on the internet all day for food.

Upset mother to son: 'Would it kill you to check your poor mother's blog once in a while?'

"With respect, my medical degree trumps your online-diagnosis search."

'Let me guess. Another addicted internet user.'

"If it's any consolation, you were a 'shoe-in' before I checked out your browsing history."

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

Employee in cubicle with sign in front of computer 'Days since online purchase.'

Unsocial Networking.

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

Did you update your blog? How about updating our relationship?

'I'm sick of catching you on the computer looking at naked girls. Especially when they're pictures of me - your wife.'

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

'If you fail to meet your target, you'll lose your Internet privileges for a week.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Out and In.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Moses on the web

Right click for yes...

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'Here's MY information highway!'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Evolution.

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

Likes: $2.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."