Internet Survey Skeptics Pillows

'I'm an honest person but when I take an online survey, I'm a big liar.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The other digital divide.

Down With Wikipedia

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Curious George, Dad