Internet Service Provider Technician Gifts

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Computer Expert

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Hardware and software

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Man feeding his computer money.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

I've always been slower than computers...

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."