Internet Punster Pillows

"Dot com, Dot com, Dot com, Dot com, Dot sit, Dot sit, good Dot, Good Dot."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

I think you're ace

'Jurassic Pork.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'It's a treasure map.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"After careful deliberation, I've decided I can no longer represent you as your lawyer in this case."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

Optometrist practical jokes

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

"We wuz robed!"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Surfin' the web.

Erie was once in New York, Maine used to be part of Massachusetts and West Virginia was carved out of Virginia. Ah, "altered states"!

'I'm trying to get a Handel on classical music, but I'm finding that it's one step forward and two steps Bach.'