Internet Linguist Gifts

Couple flirting in Text Language.

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

WTF?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'The Questioner'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Lessons in Prehistory.

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'Stick them up...'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'