Internet Linguist Gifts

Couple flirting in Text Language.

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

WTF?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Lessons in Prehistory.

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'Stick them up...'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.