Linguistics Lecturer Gifts

Department of Linguistics.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Campaign for Plain English

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'But I digress...'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Torturing the English Language

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Eternal Student.

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"Make a lot of money."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Scarcity

What's normal?

'The Questioner'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'