Internet Identity Explorer Gifts

'What the...?! Oh, for cryin' out loud! BIGTONYSALLKAZOOPOLKABAND.COM is already taken as a domain name!'

'My blog has its own blog.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Digital Fomo!

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

Spam in Hell.

Page not found...

Wikipedia...

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'