Internet Frustration Fanatic Gifts

"Are you still waiting for that site to load?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

Broken since March

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"My mouse is running from me. Apparently, he's tired of me slamming him down when I get frustrated with my computer. I even apologised."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Desktop Print Hell: '...an eternity of different printers and no windows driver...'

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

Angry tennis player.

Twisted Peel has a bout of road rage.

Use Next Window.

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."

New Listings From Frustration House.

"Sorry about the expletive."

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

Platinum Baby Shark

Struggling with unwilling computers.

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'I know where I am - where the hell is my ball!'

Meet Santa. I've been working for weeks on the list of presents I want. I've got my Christmas present list and an invitation for Santa to attend my birthday party next year -- I know it's a long shot but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. He just wants to know if you've been naughty or nice ... You didn't have to bring your whole resume. "Naughty or nice"? Does he mean your private life or your public persona? Yeah, it's all so confusing! Is sharing music files naughty or nice?

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

Brexit Part MMMCDIXIV

"I realize your calamities are popular on facebook, but we really can't afford any more medical expenses this year."

"What say we form a chat room on the web?"

'I told you not to kick the vending machine!'

'No.'

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'