Internet Flirt Pillows

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Why we need poetry. . .

"Call me?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

I only have eyes for you

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

You are my sunshine!

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

'Your place or mine?'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

"I wanna be your lapdog."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Barman In Love.

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'I think I've scored.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'