Internet Flirt Pillows

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Why we need poetry. . .

I only have eyes for you

"Call me?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

You are my sunshine!

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"I wanna be your lapdog."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Barman In Love.

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'I think I've scored.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'