Cyber Flirt Pillows

Tall, Dark, and Handsome chats with Buxom Blonde.

'We've got to stop seeing each other...my wife is getting suspicious!'

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Why we need poetry. . .

I only have eyes for you

"Call me?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

You are my sunshine!

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

'Your place or mine?'

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Online Dating

"I wanna be your lapdog."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Barman In Love.

'I think I've scored.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."