Internet Culture Buffs Gifts

"Will you knock off the spamming already...you are ruining it for us legitimate Nigerian kings who are trying desperately to give away our massive fortunes!"

Lance, I read that one third of Americans use social networking in the bathroom. That's why I always wash my hands after I read a Tweet.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Weird things I do because of the internet

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Twitter for goldfish.'

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

'Before each of you is a video camera. In the event I do something that could go viral...'

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Christopher Columbus, Kindle Generation

"The Little Dutch Boy, 2024"

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime, but teach a cat to fish and it'll be on the internet forever.

"Come on, let's get a selfie and post it online before we fight to the death..."

Facebook/Meta

Dearest Eleanor, as our country fights this great battle of brother against brother, my sincerest hope is that future controversies will be resolved not with bloodshed but with sarcasm and aimless yelling on an invisible network of networks.

'On the Internet we found weapons of mass intrusion.'

Big book of memes

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

Snake Blogging

"You'd know that about me if you followed me on Twitter."

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

"If you purchased this guy's everlasting soul, here are some of his friends who may be willing to sell you theirs."