Internet Culture Gifts

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

'This next block of silence is for all you folks who download music for free, eliminating my incentive to create,'

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

'Needs to be more tweetable.'

'Okay, I admit the photo I sent you wasn't that recent, and I'm not really a male model. But everything else is true!'

Confirm My Biases.Com

'On a positive note, video of the incident has gone on to become an internet sensation.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

'Nothing much. Just waiting for the internet to tell me what I'm supposed to like.'

"I never should have given out my wifi password. . ."

'I've found that I can get away with posting nasty comments if I end them with a 'wink' emoticon.'

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

"They're powered by Internet outrage."

Cat typing on computer 'SWF wants to share crinkle toys and long naps in the sun. Neutering a must.'

'I blame the internet.'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Everything for free.

'So what's trending today Margaret?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Before you ask I think your blog's crap.'

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

'Darling! I think you're boring enough to be a blogger.'

'Wow, when did it start letting you 'enemy' people?'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Internet Jack O'Lantern.

"Where the conspiracy theories of the right overlap the conspiracy theories of the left, you'll find Richard."

"Well, Rachel... I suppose you could say that Moses downloaded the commandments from the cloud."

"I joined an online fraternity."

The Metropolitan Museum of Cat Videos

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'