Internet Conflict Connoisseur Gifts

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

Most valuable element.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Trouble everywhere...

In, Out, Complain.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

A General tries to get rid of peace.

Putin Shoots Down Peace

Political Issues

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

Loggerheads

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Dove of Peace casting shadow of a fighter plane

Gaza destruction and cause.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

'Oh you mean that silly little email.'