Internet Celebrities Pillows

'Highlight reel on ESPN SportsCenter and ten million hits on YouTube... Dude, you're famous!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I, TikTok."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

The americanisation of vulture.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"She's all over YouTube."

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Chasebook

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

David Bowie

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

Meryl Streep

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

Charlotte Rampling

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

Live the Dream!