International Film Aficionado Gifts

"Yeah, but I detest subtitles."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Getting to Know You

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Kritik's Korner

Canadian film production

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Moby Dick

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Jimmy Cagney.

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Movies vs. Films

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Spoiler alert."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

Now Playing at the Europlex

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'