Interior Trendsetter Pillows

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Man and woman buying furniture.

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

Television company new recruit

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

'Edwards never comes out of his comfort zone.'

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

A new chair for the 21st century, punctuated by a few ventilation apertures for that stylish new direction in mass seating.

"Our office went from sit-down desks to stand-up desks to becoming the desk."

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'

'What do you think of the decor?' 'It's a little spartan.' 'Fight to the death!'

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."

"Too barbie?"

'Those show-offs. Did you see their coffee table Kindle?'

Sal's recent remodeling accommodated his many beer-gut-impaired customers.

"That blasted maid's got everything upside-down again!"

"Well, right off I can tell the Feng Shui of your interrogation room is all off. The Life Area is in conflict with the Knowledge Area which creates a very powerful Alibi Area right here."

"Used to be you'd get a sensible nose piercing and leave it at that."