Interior Innovators Pillows

'As chairman of 'The Society of the Little People' I propose that we get all our furniture customised.'

Interior design trends for parents....

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Television company new recruit

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

Open-Plan Psychiatry

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."