Interior Trendsetter T-Shirts

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Man and woman buying furniture.

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

Television company new recruit

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

'Edwards never comes out of his comfort zone.'

A new chair for the 21st century, punctuated by a few ventilation apertures for that stylish new direction in mass seating.

'What do you think of the decor?' 'It's a little spartan.' 'Fight to the death!'

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'

"Our office went from sit-down desks to stand-up desks to becoming the desk."

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."

"That blasted maid's got everything upside-down again!"

"Too barbie?"

"Well, right off I can tell the Feng Shui of your interrogation room is all off. The Life Area is in conflict with the Knowledge Area which creates a very powerful Alibi Area right here."

'Worse case of cabin fever I ever saw.'