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Covidwear

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Man and woman buying furniture.

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

'I ran into a whittler.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

Real men have facial hair.

A grave with an array of beauty products

"It's very indoorsy."

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"Nice chords Wayne!"

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

I've found the designer gene.

"Honey, have you seen my pirate shirt?"