Interior Rearranger T-Shirts

'I was going to redecorate, but found that just rearranging the furniture was all that was needed.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

"I've changed my mind"

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'And here to explain his study on the migration patterns of Earthlings...'

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

Non Drip Paint

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"Fascinating. He ran on it the first few days, but now he's just using it to hang his clothes."

Painter and Decorator/Wallpaper

'Which box did you put the kids in?'

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

'This is where I'm thinking of putting my husband.'

"Well, I've noticed someone always finds time for the 'odd jobs' around here he wants to do!"

'-and my wife likes to rearrange the furniture from time to time!'

Oh wow. Love your work.

The benefits of decorating

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

I see you're still having trouble selling your house. Home, @#$% home.

'If you don't have a TV, what do you arrange your furniture around?'

"The place was in need of a woman's touch – and so was Bob."

"Fine. We'll pull the bed away from the window."

Bathroom DIY

"I keep this room empty to incite envy."

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

"He couldn't find his phone."

'Don't blame me, missus - that's where your husband wanted it!'

Non-game changers