Interior Jester Gifts

'And this is for couples who, whilst not actively seeking divorce, have agreed to keep apart by two chevrons.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Welcome to the office. . . Someone will be along to remove your self esteem and install your paranoia.'