Interior Jokesters Gifts

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Do it yourself books.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

He likes to make work fun

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"This is Mr Johnson, the man who works under me."

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

Waste Management.

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

'Assume the position, Caruthers. I'm going to frisk you for a good idea.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

'Because I'm the boss. That's why I'm so bossy.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."