Interior Improv Artist Gifts

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

The Hammer

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Television company new recruit

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

Non Drip Paint

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"What do you think?"

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Budget Recliner

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."