Interior Design Joker Pillows

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I didn't spark joy."

Second hand furniture.

Use your imagination.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Home depot."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Painting the Ceiling

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'