Interior Design Joker Pillows

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Second hand furniture.

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Painting the Ceiling

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Home depot."

Use your imagination.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."