Interior Design Humor Lover Pillows

Sofa Change Machine.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting the Ceiling

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Still Life With Nordic Track

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

Dog Bookends

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

"Reproduction furniture."

Wallpapering 5

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

Man to patient on couch: 'I'd like to help, but I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an upholsterer.'

HIS and everything else HERS.

Budget Recliner

'I tried to warn you against inflatable furniture.'

Huge Furniture Sale!

'Teri and I rescued these cabinets from a landfill.'

"Do you want to watch couples decorating their house, couples selling their house, couples buying a house, couples buying a house in another country, or couples decorating their hosue, selling it and buying one in another country?"

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'We've only seen your house from outside. You'd never guess that it was nice inside.'