Interior Design Avant-garde Pillows

"I keep this room empty to incite envy."

Interior design trends for parents....

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Superintendent

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"That's still too high"

"I love what you've done to the place."

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'