Intergenerational Exchange Pillows

So this is what civilization has come to at the dawn of the new millennium. Impressive, huh? What are you looking at? Nothing mother! Sigh! How come you get along better with my child than I do? We trade. She shows me all the crucial elements of pop culture. And I show her ... A life without Lady Gaga is still worth living! Phizzz.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"Hey, Gramps. You believe in life after death?" "Boy. At my age I'm not even sure about life after my morning BM."

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"Don't tell grandmom about your computer's virus. She'll just tell you to download chicken soup."

"Quite frankly I can't wait to see how your generation messes up everything."

"Tell us another story where you interject with a reminder that nobody had cell phones then."

New Age: Retirement Plan

"My dad and I are trading important life skills. He's teaching me how to change the oil in the car."

"If you at least 'liked' him on social media, it would mean a lot."

'Grandpa, what was the most romantic thing you ever tweeted grandma?'

'I spent lots of time on line when I was your age... hanging clothes in the back yard!'

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

"Frankly, we're at a loss, so we're looking for someone young and stupid to tell us what to do."

"I worry about Gramma. What if I decide to have kids when I grow up? Will she still be there to raise them?"

"Would you take a selfie of me for my Grandkids?"

'My Gran'pa bridges the generation gap with 10- dollar bills!'

"Way before Facebook, my generation had places to gather and talk too much, opinionated wildly, and generally make fools of ourselves. We called them bars."

"For the sake of diversity, this office needs an old-timer."

Your grandpa's at that difficult age where they assert independence.

"What's wrong, little buddy?" "Some stupid kid called me 'old.'" "I'm young! I've been young all my life! I'm good at it. I know all about being young." "I've been young since way before he was even born." "He's just jealous that I'm more experienced at it than he is." "Might be time for us to have a little talk."

"Could I ask you for a dollar without having to hear how tough you had it when you were my age?"

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'

Says here Flag Day is June 14...what the heck is Flag Day?"

'Your generation has it so easy . . . when i was a lad we had to forage in the woods for scraps of discarded porn.'

"Baldo, I never said humor your elders...you should respect your elders!"