Generational Bridger Pillows

'Your generation has it so easy . . . when i was a lad we had to forage in the woods for scraps of discarded porn.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"Don't tell grandmom about your computer's virus. She'll just tell you to download chicken soup."

'Of course you did better when you went to school. That was before the information age.'

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Please—no technology questions!"

Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty

'I spent lots of time on line when I was your age... hanging clothes in the back yard!'

"Tell us another story where you interject with a reminder that nobody had cell phones then."

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

"If you at least 'liked' him on social media, it would mean a lot."

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

'Did they have history when you were my age?'

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"