Intergalactic Tourist Gifts

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

"We've bookmarked your planet in case we want to come back."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Take me to your mechanic."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

Blue Origin

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Take us to Disneyworld then, if there's time, to your leader."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"You are here"