Intergalactic Explorer Gifts

"You go ahead and attack. I'll close-up the ship."

An astronaut parties with aliens on the wing of his spaceship.

'Somewhere hot and a long way from here please.' - 'Planet Mercury?'

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

Tuba in Space

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

Newborn Cosmonaut

"Let's skip Earth - they have crappy Wi-Fi."

"Gesundheit!"

"It was less of a probing and more of a home invasion."

'This is a very important mission. We've traveled 500 Light years to create crop circles on Earth.'

Alien catches clothesline on trip to Earth.

"Of course these photon blasters don't work, they're fauxton blasters."

Alien sits at a Tourist Information Booth.

"I'm sexually attracted to space."

"You used to be way more attractive!"

Astronaut

"Wait, ok, I've got it. It says, 'Beware....land....shark.'"

'Sorry mate, you'll have to ask someone else, I'm not from this area ...'

'Don't you have a lottery on your planet?'

Dancing with the Star Wars

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'. . . Twelve solar days elapsed since being marooned on this god-forsaken planet; acts of unspeakable barbarism by indigenous life form continue unabated . . '

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'It took us a long time, but we finally made it -- take us to Mork and Mindy.'

"Could you help me with this?"

"Don't worry; I'm sure these Earthlings will welcome us with open arms..."

Alien abduction

'He is from Mars, I am fro Venus.'

Science fiction fans on other planets

'Sorry, but TREKKIES are not considered an organized religion.'

We're too late - he says Phil Donahue retired years ago!

Life on other planets, yes. Nightlife on other planets, no.

Wow, owners really do look like their pets.