Intergalactic Diplomat Gifts

"Take us to your diversity outreach consultant."

"You know that this means war between out planets?!"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Humans and Aliens land on the same Alien planet.

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"It's inhabited and they appear to be friendly."

Alien that resembles a coconut is marooned on desert isle. Human on the same island cracks open coconuts. '. . acts of unspeakable barbarism by indigenous life form continue unabated . . .'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Take me to your mechanic."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Did you bring more cars?"

"Let's find a planet with a better rating."

"Oh the little green men are from the planet Thargon, we're the big blue men from Zefflon 8."