Intergalactic Decorator Pillows

'The meteor saved us a bundle on a rock garden!'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Use your imagination.

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"You're welcome."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

'The roof needs icing.'

Books / Coffee table books

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"The next time we redecorate, how about if I choose the art?"

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Den Furniture

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each