Celestial Decorator Pillows

"The old pearly gates looked nice, but they were hell to maintain."

"This place could do with a water feature."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'The roof needs icing.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

A new meaning in the Roman

"I opted for the upgrades."

God creating the galaxy.

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

'I'm sorry, but you're in violation of building codes. You can only use sugar free gum here.'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

"Love the exposed chessboard."

Violin Playing Snowman.

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

"And what Patio & Garden Outlet has joined together, let no yard sale put asunder."

"If anyone asks, I did this."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"He loves me!"

A christmas tree for the cat

Carlo Bing's Penne Lounge Chair

"We'll take it."

"Things to do Today: Create the heaven and the earth."

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

'Sheila wanted a statue and I wanted a water feature so we compromised.'