Intergalactic Culinary Critic T-Shirts

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

View to the Future

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Flying sauces.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Too much cilantro

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is the MSG local?"

Countervailing Clichés.

The Origins of Everything

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Happy hour.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"