Intellectual Pretender Pillows

"This book can't be very sophisticated...I understood it right away."

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Checkmate!'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

Bee Chess

The Ascent of Man.

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

Broad Minded

Plagiarism

How do bright women get pregnant?

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

"About 77,000 years ago the human lineage split into two branches. Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo stupidicus dumbelsii."

How to appear more interesting.

"He really overdoes it with his opening move ... "

"The Man Who Knew Enough"

"Every few years, a book comes along that’s so ahead of its time, so hauntingly beautiful, I’ll buy it and put it on my bookshelf."

'If a painting can be forged so that even experts can't tell the difference, why isn't it worth the same as the original?'

Blight at the end of the tunnel

"On your CV it says you get the Nobel Prize for 'being spectacular', I didn't know there was one for that!"

'That's intellectually dishonest, Sid.'

"Yes, all of them. I need a Zoom background."

'The apple is just a marketing ploy. There's a limo service out of here and free shopping at the mall.'

Egg Head

Immensa

'When television insults Walter's intelligence, he insults it right back.'

I'm also carrying that book around without reading it.