Integrity Ponderer Gifts

'I didn't cheat doing the assignment. I just outsourced the work to a kid in India. '

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

The Price of Freedom

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Ivan Turgenev

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"