Integrity Ponderer Pillows

'I didn't cheat doing the assignment. I just outsourced the work to a kid in India. '

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

The Price of Freedom

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Le Penseur (D' Apres Rodin)

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

CCTV in church.