Insurance Sleuth T-Shirts

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

I'm afraid you have the medical coverage of a man half your age, Mr. Fusco. ! !

British savings accounts

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"So much for password protected."

Clickbait

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

The Modern Godot

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Have you seen my money?

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Secret Service Dogs

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

What security flaw?

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

"I'm trimming the fat around here, Bailey, and I'd like to see you lose $75 per week"

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."