Insurance Sleuth Pillows

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

British savings accounts

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"So much for password protected."

Clickbait

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Have you seen my money?

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Secret Service Dogs

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"I'm trimming the fat around here, Bailey, and I'd like to see you lose $75 per week"

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

What security flaw?

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."